Mary Ann Barnes

Mary Ann Barnes is the queen of all the acrobats;
  she can do tricks that will give a man the shits.
She can shoot green peas from her fundamental orifice,
  do a double somersault and catch 'em on her tits.
She's a great big fat shit, twice the size of me,
  hair on her ass like the branches in a tree.
She can swim, fight, shoot, fuck,
  climb a tree or drive a truck.
She's the kind of girl that's gonna marry me!